[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Early Bird Moronsdots

    Author: Kael Fenshir
    ASL Info:    26 / M / That weird place
    Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 17/57/52
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Rant/Misc
    Total Views: 814
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 469


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEarly Bird Moronsdots

    Cocoa fields be running dry but I ain't complainin'. Grandfather ignores you the most because he's got others to worry about; time keeps dwindling as his swords and rifles go up for sale. Does she sell them after he's gone?
    Does she mind the bureaucracy that tags along?
    Do the crimes fit the era?
    Think things through and realize that the past is the past and we only have each other. At least until the clock strikes midnight.

    Submitted on 2015-02-12 02:08:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      From the few I've read thus far, I'd say a sense of alienation is threading through your poems. There's movement from point to point, but the focus isn't lost. It's like, life. How little we know of the larger picture, but how what we do know makes us respond to others and the world at large. How primary relationships color all other things. And how we learn to trust (or not) based on these relationships. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Don't know, but that's where this one takes me. Good stuff.
    | Posted on 2015-07-04 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      This seems to be a personal note to self. There is not really enough content to get the whole picture, so it's hard for your reader to relate to this. It just left me with a bunch of question marks.
    If he's selling them how can she, and who is she to him? Wife? daughter? Bureaucracy- government regulations? Crimes? What crimes?
    | Posted on 2015-02-18 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I have no idea what this was supposed to be about. Not enough content. The picture I got from reading this was slaves and a cotton field but I don't really see the picture you are trying to paint with this piece. Sorry :(
    | Posted on 2015-02-12 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]