I know exactly how this feels. My very first boyfriend, the love of my life, and I were like that. Oddly enough so is my current love of my life and fiance. However, with my first love, we would fight and break up and always come back together. Until the one time we just didn't. He couldn't handle it anymore and I wasn't enough for him anymore, or love wasn't. I missed him and mourned our relationship for over 4 years and I will still always love him but we will never get back what we had then and it makes me sad.
My current fiance and I fight and break up and fight and break up and make up but I'm hoping to stop that cycle because I don't want to lose him like I did my first love. I can't go through what you describe in your poem with him as I did my first love.
Thank you for the words for thought this morning. As you can tell I can very much relate to this. I hope that you can find a way to move on and find someone else who makes you happy, as I have been able to do. I know very well that it is easier said that done, but I promise you there is someone else out there for you.
Keep writing, I look forward to reading more by you. Thank you for sharing it with us.