Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Time's The Enemydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TeslaKoyal
    Elite Ratio:    1.79 - 19/67/85
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 711
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 606



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTime's The Enemydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fear has cast a darkened spell
    Greener grass on the other side
    Though the laws of those who dwell
    Will never care to abide

    Cease, the thoughts escape
    In the woods where dew sits
    Across the river's landscape
    Oh, and how the bullet hits

    Into the monster's dreary cave
    Where not only he lingers
    But for now he must behave
    With the thought of losing her

    The leaves on every tree
    Falling when the time arrives
    Though time seems the enemy
    It's where they will survive




    Submitted on 2015-02-17 21:26:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was cool
    | Posted on 2015-02-19 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoy your writing style. However, I'd break this into four stanzas of four or punctuate it so the lines are not running away and smearing into each other. I had to back up a couple times to figure out where the breaks should be for meaning. Simple periods at the end of sentences would be enough.
    ~jan
    | Posted on 2015-02-18 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    199978

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Stretto written by saartha
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Legends written by poetotoe
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    "other people don't get that" written by Daniel Barlow
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    less is more written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry