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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Time's The Enemydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TeslaKoyal
    Elite Ratio:    1.79 - 19/67/85
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 694
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 606



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTime's The Enemydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fear has cast a darkened spell
    Greener grass on the other side
    Though the laws of those who dwell
    Will never care to abide

    Cease, the thoughts escape
    In the woods where dew sits
    Across the river's landscape
    Oh, and how the bullet hits

    Into the monster's dreary cave
    Where not only he lingers
    But for now he must behave
    With the thought of losing her

    The leaves on every tree
    Falling when the time arrives
    Though time seems the enemy
    It's where they will survive




    Submitted on 2015-02-17 21:26:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was cool
    | Posted on 2015-02-19 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoy your writing style. However, I'd break this into four stanzas of four or punctuate it so the lines are not running away and smearing into each other. I had to back up a couple times to figure out where the breaks should be for meaning. Simple periods at the end of sentences would be enough.
    ~jan
    | Posted on 2015-02-18 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


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