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    dots Submission Name: apartdots

    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 611
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 580


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    when butterflies fly
    the world turns gray
    no other colors shine
    only the ones imprinted on its wings
    the flowers weep in such view
    as I am,
    with eyes as brown as the dirt of soil
    mingled with the death of leaves
    all attached to the earth
    with a moment of certainty,
    clarity that things would go differently
    He was not born to fly
    one that could carry you
    nor bring an image of a rainbow
    but can reveal the meaning of goodbye
    in one
    ....one step away

    Submitted on 2015-02-18 06:52:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I have petty concerns as to the conjunctions between lines and words, though this includes the suspicion that you will master these on your own, with time and much practice-
    As all artists do.

    "He was not born to fly
    one that could carry you
    nor bring an image of a rainbow"

    Perhaps if you could elaborate on this stanza, I'd understand. Though, until you do, I'm individually incapable of making any sensible compatibility between the three lines.
    | Posted on 2015-02-21 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the image of your eyes. Your eyes sound very pretty. I've felt this sort of loss before, also, and I'm sorry you've had to go through it. I liked this a lot, I can definitely relate. I look forward to reading more from you. Keep the descriptive nature of your writing, it definitely made this piece interesting to read.
    | Posted on 2015-02-18 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ]

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