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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: apartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 546
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 580



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsapartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    when butterflies fly
    the world turns gray
    no other colors shine
    only the ones imprinted on its wings
    the flowers weep in such view
    as I am,
    with eyes as brown as the dirt of soil
    mingled with the death of leaves
    all attached to the earth
    with a moment of certainty,
    clarity that things would go differently
    He was not born to fly
    one that could carry you
    nor bring an image of a rainbow
    but can reveal the meaning of goodbye
    in one
    ....one step away





    Submitted on 2015-02-18 06:52:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I have petty concerns as to the conjunctions between lines and words, though this includes the suspicion that you will master these on your own, with time and much practice-
    As all artists do.

    "He was not born to fly
    one that could carry you
    nor bring an image of a rainbow"

    Perhaps if you could elaborate on this stanza, I'd understand. Though, until you do, I'm individually incapable of making any sensible compatibility between the three lines.
    | Posted on 2015-02-21 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the image of your eyes. Your eyes sound very pretty. I've felt this sort of loss before, also, and I'm sorry you've had to go through it. I liked this a lot, I can definitely relate. I look forward to reading more from you. Keep the descriptive nature of your writing, it definitely made this piece interesting to read.
    | Posted on 2015-02-18 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ]


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