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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Slit Wrist Matricidedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Crestfallenman
    ASL Info:    24/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 622/961/454
    Words: 258
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1082
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1566



    Description:
       


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    dotsSlit Wrist Matricidedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Underneath the vale, the dissonance begins dissipating into the bitterness of winter. The nights alone with the disdain keeping my wake, never seemed so distant from the gracious common people. The convexity of my emotional debt brings me to the irrational place I placed countless hours of efforts to dignify...

    Waking in the gloom of morning to mourn the termination of your present form...Violence unfurls as I move through a life that was supposed to be my own... But to the void that is creeping beneath my skin, the minutes begin to wax towards my eternal vision of sleep....

    Why has it seemed so difficult to attain the happiness that was stolen from youth? The days laughter died long past a decade and still I no remedy or solution to this distortion. Blind eyes stare directly at me. Significations of broken records, repeating shrill of torments. Bearing the pressures of humanity, the course of action is that I'd be more suitable to end this cycle. But to what accord? To what betterment would it become? Do I live for those around me? Do I live for myself? And if I do, for what purpose? What sentiment? What passion? And what love?

    Intimidate me with the threats and harass me with the judgments. Discredit my state of belonging, then fucking ask for more as I suffocate the antiseptics of my own madness. The conditional statements and the misunderstanding segregates, the mood changes, and shut down becomes amiss...

    I'm losing my will...

    I'm losing myself...




    Submitted on 2015-02-23 10:01:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The mighty tide which seeks the moon must in turn seek the abyss. That is the nature of nature. And you do, Alex, you do quite fine.

    Sustain... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sustain

    Sustain until you cry, then sustain until you laugh.
    | Posted on 2015-03-13 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Alex, Hope this is not too autobiographical.
    The first strophe of this seems a bit disjointed and is difficult to read. You need a comma in the second line for the on in the third line to work correctly perhaps after alone although it's not technically needed. Parenthesis may work better. vale/veil? I'm not sure which imagery/meaning you wanted here. Veil- as a concealment vale- as a valley/dale place or Va'le' as a goodbye. Try reading this strophe aloud. It clankers around, and perhaps that's just what you want for this one. The second strophe smooths out and then speeds up with the anger of the third and just keeps going.
    Remember, you're not really loosing yourself, your just shedding the old skin to develop on that is a better fit.
    | Posted on 2015-02-24 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


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