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    dots Submission Name: V/Liable dots

    Author: OneDarkFlame92
    ASL Info:    23/m/Numeanor
    Elite Ratio:    5.28 - 455/419/222
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 699
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 612


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsV/Liable dots

    She clutches my hand and says "I'm sure"
    we breathe too clearly with doubt on our tongues
    rain trickles down the window, illuminated by streetlights
    and the scene is set

    She clutches my arm and feels that I'm sure
    it's morning now and things come clearly
    but it's too early to be sure
    as the clock slows once more

    She clutches my arm and says "I'm scared"
    I sigh too heavily and tears escape
    the doctors have come to take her away

    the day has come to take you away

    Submitted on 2015-02-28 16:02:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I assume this is about abortion?

    Anyways, I think you are spot on at describing the way it really is for a young woman, whatever her reason may be. It is easier to make a decision when you're not actually there at the doctor's office. But once your name is up, it seems as if life flashes you by and there is hesitancy, alarm, doubt, maybe even wanting of changing your mind.

    I like the way you write "She clutches my hand and says 'I'm sure'", making it seem like she's not sure at all. And then the feeling becomes even stronger by the end. I sincerely sympathize with the protagonist.

    Beautiful simple yet very piercing write.
    | Posted on 2015-03-01 00:00:00 | by wordsofmind | [ Reply to This ]

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