Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the way we must have loveddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 916
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 700



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe way we must have loveddots
    -------------------------------------------


    His eyes, although wrinkled carry certainty
    on its corners as if could feel the unseen
    The brow looks heavy on the face
    somewhat basking a very long solitude
    The mouth could not curve a smile and everything internal fades less and less
    Whatever bends him too far follows this descending day
    I misunderstood the love he takes, again turns into
    a new despicable cold
    as harsh as winter, possessive of any joy
    Today, the longevity of hours await a thing undone
    how a simple goodbye is silent and aware
    We crawl back to a makeshift ideal of who we are
    only to exist, only to forget the lingering of our eyes




    Submitted on 2015-03-02 07:18:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I find this to be a darkly prepossessing piece. You have captured and distilled in these few lines an insight a timeless ending a suspended moment of truth.
    I am left haunted and wondering if there will ever be a more.

    | Posted on 2015-03-02 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200020

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Bond written by saartha
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Linger written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry