[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Spirals of Accentsdots

    Author: ShadowParadox
    Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 23/66/34
    Words: 433
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 648
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3209


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSpirals of Accentsdots

    Ivory-teal ruffled his parochial feathers
    His tongue dipped in languages
    He wanted to learn the pronunciation of life
    As he folded himself in Egyptian ink

    He opened his mind against the dioramic surface of syllables
    Painted in alloy; dripping from a papery canvas
    He brushed his ivory creme feathers
    in crimson and lavender hieroglyphics
    Bleeding their pictorial valor inside a golden sepia lantern

    Go on, light the world with your suspense and mystery

    Ivory-teal twittered to himself
    Wrapping the bijoux night around his little body
    he disappeared into the stars
    The teal birthmark on his forehead; glowing

    He took the lantern in his gold beak
    fluttering away into spirals of smoke
    Toward Mythology mountain
    Where a storm of butterflies
    were winging their seasonal weather

    Ivory-teal sometimes wished he could be a candle flame
    Flickering in the darkest of moments
    Letting the sunshine bleed through his beautiful feathers and soft skin

    But his destiny was a bit different
    He was folded in cultural prophetic proverbs and
    sewed neatly in parabolic traditions
    Where nationality is mixed into colorful pixels inside skin
    Accents are curved in throats and lilted on the edge of tongues

    Ivory-teal was carved in diamond flex dreams
    In a temple of mythical patterns
    Imprinted in mercury cocoons laminated with knowledge
    The Angel Apostles printed him in their book of Dreamtales
    Where he became a bilingual silhouette

    He was birthed right here on this mountain
    As he balanced himself on thoughts
    He had learned to love himself to this point of his life
    He wanted to be the change he wanted in the world
    He gently lifted the little lantern

    It rose up toward the sun and exploded into rainbow fireworks
    The contexts that were inside split sideways
    Tilting and pressing themselves into the air particles

    If birds could smile then that would've been Ivory-teal
    As he laughed quietly

    Now breathe in earthlings, breath in the wonders and knowledge of life

    He then spread his gorgeous ivory creme wings
    tattooed with all the languages of the world and life itself
    He twirled into the sunset and bled himself in a cloud

    A mountaineer had been watching and wondered to himself
    As he unknowingly breathed in the context from Ivory-teal's lantern

    If flying is a language I would love to learn and speak it with my wings

    But shouldn't he know that language already
    For it is the language of freedom
    Ivory-teal is one of many symbolic accents
    Of that beautiful language

    Submitted on 2015-03-03 16:54:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      L5 Dioramic is not a word, however as colorful as you are you could get away with a few neologisms, perhaps diagrammatic or diagrammed would be better or even diorama.
    | Posted on 2015-04-15 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
       Love everything about this except the last strophe. I don't like that you have to give the reader the symbolism. It makes to a trite ending to an otherwise spectacular view. It feels like you didn't quite know how to end it so you tacked this on. I think taking it off completely would be a bit more polished if you can't think of a way to revise it.
    | Posted on 2015-03-04 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      What I get is that our bird wants to shake off the conventions of its world by opening itself to wonders beyond its origins. It gathers knowledge. It then wants to give the knowledge to others. The mountaineer (the reader), as the unsuspecting recipient of the knowledge, doesn't understand.

    The imagery is absorbing. It paints a colorful, dream-like, picture. You have a special talent. I can see it in writing beyond the limits of poetry.

    Those are some nice pictures you posted.
    | Posted on 2015-03-04 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Cover written by saartha
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Records I written by Raphael




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]