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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: She Painted Her Skindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ShadowParadox
    Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 23/66/34
    Words: 261
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 843
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1849



    Description:
       


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    dotsShe Painted Her Skindots
    -------------------------------------------


    The art in the Artist becomes a paregoric chiaroscuro
    Forming a lyrical landscape of a sacral female
    She is a golden sgraffito
    Painting her birth ivory clavicles

    Poetry drips from her fingertips
    Turning into poisonous saccharine
    It oozes over the scrolls of her ancient tomb
    Drowning who she once was

    She loves the metal taste of insanity
    How it burns into the dip of her zebra striped tongue
    Cobwebs are neatly strung from her pearly scalp
    Creating a curtain of blossoms
    Which falls onto the heart of her china face

    Stardust dance in her cheetah print eyes
    Tattooed with dreams
    Silver ambitions tugs at her soul
    She wants a change
    Something unique
    Like an amethyst anaglyph threaded
    With spiderweb wings

    Woven with diamond fangs and crushed crystals
    Her sadness envelopes the night of her dress
    Her teardrops are shard glass
    Each a different color

    They fall across young ancient flesh
    Razorblading a situation

    A totem goddess fills the room
    Her diptych fingers stripping old paint from the female artist skin

    "Create yourself. Start anew. Its never too late"

    She whispers then vanishes
    Leaving the stems of her diptych fingers on the hieroglyphic floor

    Smiles bloomed on Artist crimson lips
    She stepped gingerly out of her web of skin
    Dressing herself in a gown stitched with wounds and scars

    Carefully she picks up the goddess fingers
    Dipping them into the colorful acrylic of her bones

    Gently
    Thoughtfully
    Happily

    She painted her skin with a new beginning.




    Submitted on 2015-03-09 18:39:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      L13 Which fall onto the heart…china face…not falls, because blossoms are the objects of the verb fall. Blossoms fall….a blossom falls. L14 Stardust dances not stardust dance, unless you meant to imply that they are doing the stardust dance in her cheetah print eyes. L16 Silver ambitions tug at her soul…….not tugs, once again ambition tugs, ambitions tug. L28 female artist's skin….I think you want the possessive form…not female artist skin, though an argument could be made for its correctness if your sure you didn't mean the skin was the female artist's or belonged to her. L32 again I think you want the possessive form 'Smiles bloomed on the artist's crimson lips' ……not artist crimson lips, at least…. 'bloomed on artist's crimson lips', once again the argument could be made it's style. L35 perhaps again you intended the possessive form….goddess's fingers ………not goddess fingers, but again the argument could be made
    | Posted on 2015-04-15 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      You tell a story in such vividness. Some of your vision is perhaps a bit mixed up in the conglomerate of art styles, but overall it's very vivid. "Zebra striped tongue" gave me a bit of a chuckle as I have a drawer full of them in multi-colors. Your lady is quite colorful despite her cobwebs and ancient skin. My only critique is that you use the same description of diptych fingers rather close together, so it seems a bit repetitive. I actually stopped and thought, "Didn't I just read that?" Overall though I think you did a very good job of stripping away the old.
    Jan
    | Posted on 2015-03-10 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


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