Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Between The Rock and The Skydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 195
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 506
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1336



    Description:
       I had lost my voice for a long time, and i went astray.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBetween The Rock and The Skydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Traveling between heaven and earth
    Where there is only horizon
    Caught between
    What is and
    What might be

    The mind wanders
    Always revisiting
    A face it's studied
    So very well

    This moment
    Of weightlessness
    Is fraught with danger
    For it is not yet time to ascend
    And landings can end with a crash

    The heart races
    Fearing it
    Is unequal
    To the task ahead

    Between the Rock
    and the Sky we travel
    Between the Rock
    and the sky
    We are lost

    The hands tremble
    Longing for an
    Embrace
    They have never known

    When at last
    The veil
    Is pulled back
    Will it have been worth the trip

    Between the rock and the sky
    We travel
    Between the rock
    And the sky
    We are lost

    The time for
    Counting stars
    Has passed
    These feet need
    To touch the ground

    Though the heart
    May race
    the hands
    They still tremble
    And the mind
    wanders on

    Between the rock and
    The sky we traveled
    Between the rock and
    The sky
    We found peace




    Submitted on 2015-03-12 11:21:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think we all spend some time here. It's that place where we feel we are just marking time, waiting for we know not what. I think everyone has been there, we just describe it differently. For a moment I was in a metaphorical airplane trying either to land or take off.
    Overall I like the form of this. The punctuation is not needed because you used the line breaks to control the pauses. The word choice and imagery is good, so I have no really constructive criticism for you. Glad you voice is back. Mine is slowly warming up, and I am going to try some different forms in the coming weeks.
    jan
    | Posted on 2015-03-13 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200053

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    prison written by ShyOne
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry