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    dots Submission Name: Diamond Encrusted Crayondots

    Author: ShadowParadox
    Elite Ratio:    2.73 - 25/68/35
    Words: 351
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 927
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2436


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    dotsDiamond Encrusted Crayondots

    Before dead pale fingers reached through the graves

    They used to be a blushing pink

    Fresh with life

    Pulsing with care and love

    Caressing my face

    Like the whispers of many flowers

    And songs of many birds

    Those fingers were connected to a special soul

    One who birthed me

    Sheltered me

    Loved me

    The fingers who wove together diamonds and pearls

    Like an artist and his colors

    On a blank canvas

    Creating a delicate gem

    A meaningful symbol

    For me

    Those smooth beautiful fingers

    Placed it around my once tiny wrist





    Then like a cherry on top

    A single diamond encrusted crayon charm

    Joined the tangles of jeweled hooks and links

    The beautiful loving fingers grasped my waist

    And held onto me dearly

    From there words from dying lips

    Dripped their dew into my heart

    “My Silhouette, my precious shadow

    No matter where I go, no matter what happens

    Remember always remember

    You are unique like this diamond crayon

    You have colored my life with every little thing you have done

    When I look back at those colors made by my little shadow

    I see the many beautiful sparkles you placed in my life

    It makes me smile it makes me warm

    Keep being you my shadow

    Keep coloring the world with your love. . .”

    The fingers weakened and loosened

    Death came and took away the beautiful loving soul from those fingers

    No more do they blush

    Only pale white and frail

    Scratching through the dirt in my heart

    Tugging at my tears

    Every time I wipe them away

    With the edges of this rose

    The diamond crayon clings against its metal chains

    Echoing a haunting ring

    Like the voice and touch of my dead mother

    Submitted on 2015-03-25 15:40:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      L12 the fingers that wove…not who wove. L? It makes me smile, it makes me warm…needs the comma I inserted
    | Posted on 2015-04-15 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      A lovely write, I like the symbolism gently woven throughout this. The ending is a bit harsh and abrupt, but not inappropriate; so is death.
    The only thing that puzzles me is how you chose when to punctuate and when to not. Its becomes the age old debate over whether its artistic of just laziness. I understand why the ones that have it need it, but would I like it better fully punctuated? I'm not sure. Its becoming a preference thing.
    Overall, I feel like there is very little critique with your work. You have definitely thought through this piece and crafted it well.
    | Posted on 2015-04-01 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah yes, to be the shade in someone's shadow. Silhouette sojourn taciturn. My mother died recently so I can relate to this very well. She was an artist, a musician, and also held a degree in interior decorating, an amazing woman I will never forget!

    This is a lovely tribute. Do I understand from it that your mom has died or is it a fantasy. If the former, my condolences.

    | Posted on 2015-03-25 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

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