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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bloom of Organic Girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ShadowParadox
    Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 23/66/34
    Words: 440
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 741
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2935



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBloom of Organic Girldots
    -------------------------------------------




    Her smile is gluten free
    Her coco skin smooth
    Her blood is chocolate, sweet and silky
    Metal roses flowing thru golden veins
    Sugary smells evaporates from pores
    Tight charcoal coiled hair is entwined, braided, twisted
    Like iridescent scaly snakes

    Her ivory spine splits as dreams open into wings
    Her tree body pushing through the ground
    As leaves sprouts from fingers
    The roots of her heart is buried deep
    She is fertilized with love and hope
    Chemical free she grows
    Never wilting only flourishing
    She is a structure of strength
    An element of hope and peace
    Healthy is her seeds
    As they drip from her tears

    Organic Girl with juicy fruits rich with substance
    As humans eat off her and fill themselves with her goodness
    Flowers blossom and burst around her
    Birds sing lullabies in her branches
    She sways with the winds dance

    But a storm raged one day when the air in society changed
    Humans bled themselves in their mind
    Their hearts morphed into a harmful substance
    Their fingers tipped with poison
    Everything they touched turned to ashes

    They poured that horrid substance into a viral
    Then the masquerade began
    The substance turned into a chemical virus
    It spread throughout the Emerald Forest
    Many trees were slashed and chopped
    Flowers crushed

    But one tree still stood
    Thick and unmoving
    Towering; glaring

    Humans snarled; waving silver axes

    Organic girl whistled through her leaves
    A robin fluttered towards the humans
    They cursed and buried little darts into his chest
    But the robin was filled with elemental magic and morphed into a human
    His emerald ruby eyes flashing

    The humans growled and begin to attack

    Robin thrust his hands forward and grabbed all the humans except one
    He opened his razor mouth and gobbled them up
    His spine stretched as he bent toward the remaining human

    "Evaporate from our land and spread awareness for we are this land. We inherited it before you humans were braided with bones. Tell them Robin is back and this is his hood."

    Years flew by yet there stood Organic girl holding strong to her rights
    Robin had become ashes
    But his ashes mingled with the dirt and roots of Organic Girls heart and soul
    For true love never parts from the departed




    Submitted on 2015-04-02 17:16:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      L5 sugary smells evaporate …not evaporates. L10 as leaves sprout…. not sprouts. L11 the roots of her heart are buried deep … not is buried deep. L17 healthy are her seeds … not is her seeds. L29 They poured that horrid substance into a vial… not viral. L44 the humans growled and began to attack…not begin to attack
    | Posted on 2015-04-15 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      The depth of this story's message is definitely something I couldn't ignore. Admittedly, it's a fault of mine that I automatically leap to anything involving organic nature- nevertheless, the title was gravitating.
    I do wish you would have gone into more literal detail, rather than the symbolism you used for the girl's metaphysics, but that could be my greed; desperately wishing this could be an actively funded concept.
    Is it odd that I associated this piece with Pan's Labyrinth, somewhat? The eerie yet dazzling images you describe just go hand in hand, I think. I can almost see the girl's teeth; pearl white and filed. A dashing smile, crescent moons placed as her eyes.
    Should send this to Disney, seeing that they're seemingly seeking out more mystical ideas.
    | Posted on 2015-04-14 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


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