Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Garden Grows Weedsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Esophagus1
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 231/279/149
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 418
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 728



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Garden Grows Weedsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My garden only grows weeds. Weeds!
    my garden grows weeds
    Somehow we gotta eat, baby.
    Somehow we need to eat.
    The ground is baked hard and dry.
    The ground baked dry.

    Out at pasture our cattle died.
    Our greasy swine is long fried.
    The goat got caught by the thrasher.
    All our chickens passed last year.
    It's just you and I out here now my dear.
    Nothing left for us but fear.

    Cuz my garden only grows weeds. WEEDS!!
    My garden grows only weeds.
    Babe, my garden grows weeds. Weeds..
    and somehow we gotta eat.
    It's just you and I out here so quick..
    Tell me you'll make it. I am sick.




    Submitted on 2015-04-12 11:20:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really enjoyed a comical tone, the piece speaks for itself I think. I agree with jaycee about the degree of desperation. I enjoyed it immensely.
    | Posted on 2015-04-25 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Michael,
    How you managed to use this sing song refrain to create a tone of desperation is brilliant. It feels a bit like Lady Macbeth's "Spots! Spots! Be gone, damned spots!" a desparate bit of madness. This piece feels like that only despair at a long chain of disasters. No negatives in the form. You knew what you were doing. Its good to see a post from you.
    ~Jaycee
    | Posted on 2015-04-12 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200154

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry