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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Homecomingsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jaycee
    ASL Info:    44/F/ Texas
    Elite Ratio:    5.27 - 2626/1259/187
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 734
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 786



    Description:
       I'll apologize for putting this up without even a first edit. I have not been sleeping and wrote this from my phone, and of course the Hide button no longer works. This is the cleaned up version ans I generally post.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHomecomingsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm turning away
    from all annihilating the heart;
    mauling the soul
    until I am hollowed.

    I'll return to my glen
    in the midst of orange blossom arbors
    cheerful daffodils and trumpet vines;
    within its solid oak's embrace.

    Though there be serpents
    their poison is known to me
    and will run its course. If bitten
    anti-venom is always at hand.

    The journey has been arduous,
    the excitement leaving bruises,
    but no permanent scars--
    I am so very weary.

    I am coming home
    to love's soft blanket
    Tossed beneath the branches
    In gently dappled sunshine.

    I am turning back--
    I am coming home.




    Submitted on 2015-04-13 00:09:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Sometimes raw really works, I myself really appreciate that.

    I am coming home to love s soft blanket

    Love that whole stanza, this is great stuff thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2015-04-16 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Orange blossom arbors, that spoke to me. I'm a Florida girl and my great-grandma, who recently passed, had these amazing orange trees in her backyard. The fruit tasted like childhood. When she left and went to the nursing home, the trees died. It was very symbolic and heart-wrenching, when in all likelihood they probably caught something.

    Anyway, the poem for being written on the spot is pretty fantastic.

    -Carrie
    | Posted on 2015-04-13 00:00:00 | by Carosuel | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it, I like the structure, and the story in it. I like the imagery and the kind of sadness it has.

    as for the technical part (hopefully i'm not sounding rude just wanted to get it out of the way w/out putting extra words :P)

    glenn = either Glenn or glen (depending on what you're going for)?
    tumpet vines = trumpet vines? (Also I never knew the names for those thanks for that :D)
    sepents = serpents?
    alwaya = always?
    arduos = arduous?

    Thanks for sharing your writing!
    | Posted on 2015-04-13 00:00:00 | by PryncessVynom | [ Reply to This ]


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