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    dots Submission Name: Timedots

    Author: closetpoet
    Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 51/106/70
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 783
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 813


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    cares nothing for you.

    Locked in its secure, stifling, embrace;

    mocking you with the birth of new life.

    Taunting you with adolescence

    and implied promises.


    Its cruel joke

    Its tease, its empty, idleness.

    The eternal optimism that

    there’s always more of it;

    where did it go.

    We strive to live within our own, unattainable expectations,

    and those time has laid out

    a timeline we must all meet, rudderless,

    driving us,

    to appreciate what time has given us,

    and what will be taken away,

    all in time.

    Submitted on 2015-04-14 07:44:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      First verse, third line: (its) secure, stifling, embrace;
    Second verse, second line: It’s (a) tease(; empty idleness).
    Second verse, fifth line: where did it go(?)
    Third verse, second line: and those time(s) ha(ve) laid out
    Just some grammatical suggestions, other than that I couldn't disagree more.
    Though, to each one's perspective, of course.
    | Posted on 2015-04-14 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]
      I disagree, time is an exploitable paradox, power is a problematic diversity matrix, a relatively positive dynamic integration, a coordinated interjection through time! One does not appreciate what time gives, rather one takes what time has to offer.

    | Posted on 2015-04-14 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

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