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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Loving Yourself is a Startdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Passionbyapathy
    ASL Info:    23/M/Columbus, Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    5.3 - 207/276/228
    Words: 250
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 570
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1702



    Description:
       Some weird feminist blah that came out when I faced a blank page. I don't know what i'm writing. Ugh. I need to ponder more before letting myself spill onto a canvas for all to read.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLoving Yourself is a Startdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Up late chasing dawn to see the day break
    up late chasing down the root of heartache
    mind is missing all those pills they shoveled
    down my throat like tiny pebbles
    big ripples in this well of souls
    skipping stones to watch skip like outtakes
    losing sleep like a sweepstakes
    cold called a friend for friendship's sake
    still weigh the toll of being simply tolerated
    they're stacking cake on cake and instagram it
    banded bills and heavy hearts demand it
    reel in bitches like they planned
    and argue, sure, but I have to hand it
    they built an empire out of pleasurable things
    sold daughters down the river like
    they didn't mean anything
    weren't even worth the diamond ring
    couldn't even be called a fling
    just cheap sex and smokey rooms
    mirrored lines and strong perfume
    mascara runs and high heel shoes
    worth more respect
    so take it true, remove yourself
    stop chasing paper to abuse yourself
    stop letting people use you up
    and set you on the shelf to shatter
    old toys in the attic,
    I'll go get the ladder
    pull you down like decorations
    set you up proud,
    less tormented than an ornament
    more than just a pretty thing
    you're that sentimental star
    don't fall for the fast car
    don't give a hole in one
    raise the par
    people accept the love they think they deserve
    so own yourself, flaunt all those curves
    hold back enough so you've got a reserve
    give your body boldly
    not insecure




    Submitted on 2015-04-15 05:35:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I thought this was really bold, I liked the rhymes, they were obvious like the messages you were conveying, everything that was said should be common sense, I liked the observation portions best, your way of describing was more powerful to me than when you go into speaking to a particular audience. Overall this was a very good read, different than most subject and keeping consistent with a unique voice.
    | Posted on 2015-04-25 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm torn on this one. I see a lot of potential, but you chose some rhymes that were too obvious and cliché. My advice is to pull out what felt like it came too easy.

    I don't mean to be harsh or be mean, it's just my opinion.

    -Carrie.
    | Posted on 2015-04-17 00:00:00 | by Carosuel | [ Reply to This ]


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