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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Motherdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: closetpoet
    Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 51/106/70
    Words: 171
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 819
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1319



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMotherdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You stood and watched,

    out of view,

    a loving witness,

    as she preened

    golden brunette locks

    and imagined the excitement

    and anxiousness,

    as if it were a first date.

    And she carefully selected,

    just the right earrings;

    how she selected her lipstick,

    Pink Pout

    that called, “notice me”;

    that said, “my lips should be kissable”

    You watched

    as she applied the finishing touches

    the last few arrangements of curls;

    then assemblage

    the earrings

    not the ones we got her

    but the ones that drew attention

    away from the hearing aid,

    the one that buzzed and squealed,

    then,

    the necklace

    that boasted of grandchildren

    all loved, more than self

    and finally the hair

    the hair pulled gently, and self-assuredly

    onto a scalp

    that had held such locks

    and making your presence known

    you gleefully confirm,

    “You look beautiful, mom”




    Submitted on 2015-04-15 11:33:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Just the time to share in a moment is a precious gift, but being able to put that moment into a scene is a greater one. The fact that you noticed says a lot because it takes a certain amount of focus to recreate these little details between these two women. It creates a new third dimension of you as a third party looking upon the scene with warmth and love. that is the dimension that allows your reader to take this and feel the joy and love right along with you.
    | Posted on 2015-11-05 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      Throughout the piece, I was expecting something to do with illness, or along those negative-vibe lines. I was trying to wrap my head around the suspense to lessen my anxiety to get to the end, but I had forgotten that it's so much sweeter just to enjoy.
    I appreciate the piece in its whole; it wasn't too long, wasn't too short, and it kept you reading every line without hesitation &/or repetition. I only had to read it once and that's my favorite thing about a good poem. Though, I do see that you mentioned the hair-do twice or so? That could be re-arranged, but nonetheless, this was a token.
    Made me think "Happy Mother's Day" to no one in particular, as...I don't truly have much of a relationship with my own.
    | Posted on 2015-05-11 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


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