[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: NaPoWriMo 2015 : 11--15dots

    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 230/385/134
    Words: 179
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 998
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1435


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots NaPoWriMo 2015 : 11--15dots

    April 11th—WAKE

    Sparrow claws
    tick against the gutter.

    I drift out of sleep
    like the light,
    pooling against the blinds
    then slipping through.

    April 12th—ABSURD

    A full-body shudder
    in the produce aisle, as though
    the whole universe jumped
    two nanometers left.

    Bemused, I pick out
    an infinitesimally-altered

    The salad will be
    lovely anyway.

    April 13th—LATE

    This time with feeling,
    says the gravestone
    in my dream.

    I spend the whole day
    a little teary-eyed.

    April 14th—OBSERVE

    To the right, white flowers
    I've never noticed before.

    The freeway meanders
    the same way for three years, but now
    like a moon blooming open
    something new appears.

    All the world
    just out of view.

    April 15th—HEAT

    Through the window, the sun
    snags on the shell of my ear.

    So warm. In middle school,
    neglecting vocab
    to doze on the spring lawn:
    how the light turned
    hands, eyelids

    how it seemed one
    could become light,
    could scatter and shine.

    Submitted on 2015-04-15 23:10:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Kudos, for taking on the NaPoWriMo challenge. I truly struggle with this many writing prompts but it looks as if you have managed to be faithful in the writing.
    Each of these is short but nice little vignettes set to make our minds wander and wonder. I'm glad that you put a weeks worth together it gives a stark contrast to your thoughts and slightly different styles and mechanics.
    I enjoyed them, thanks for writing. Only one week to go!
    | Posted on 2015-04-24 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      There's a kind of yearning or reaching in these. In the first set I felt a kind of positive resolution. I feel like there's a hiccup or blip in the psyche being expressed in these. The thing about having a series of poems over a month's time all set together is that the mood is reflected -or perhaps I mean more of the personality. I'm not sure how to express that.

    Anyway, I have recently been dealing with ill health and various struggles and I felt some of my own peaks and valleys in the reading. That could be projection. But its like these poems make me think of that. Like when we are in those places where the positivity is as slippery as an eel. While the gravestones seem to grow out of every inch of exposed earth. I don't know. That sounds dramatic, but I really thought this series expressed a really important place in experience. And in their own way lead to a sense of hope.

    Once again I really enjoyed these.
    | Posted on 2015-04-16 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Fasade written by jackz
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Wavelength written by saartha
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Linger written by saartha
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Every..... written by jackz
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]