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    dots Submission Name: Other Lovely Thoughts dots

    Author: Carosuel
    ASL Info:    26/F/Twirlwind
    Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 96/73/28
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 661
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 680

       A revised version of "Other Lovely Thoughts" a poem under my old ScreenName on here.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOther Lovely Thoughts dots

    It has only been a couple years past,
    when colors began to gradually fade.
    Black and white, the world stilled in stark contrast.
    All the edges of the universe greyed.
    And around me I found all life decayed.
    and fears, on my tongue, were words incomplete.
    In the shower of ash, I knelt and prayed.
    but my prayers came from sin and defeat.
    So alone I stood in an empty street.
    and quickly gave into the urge to run.
    I ran until I was, I am, concrete.
    And I could again feel colors and sun.
    I bloomed in the sun and again I thrived.
    The world breathed in, the human race revived.

    Submitted on 2015-04-17 19:31:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really appreciate the rhythmic structure of this piece. It carried your words and subject and concluded quite nicely. It was also a good concept, the shift of colors to express more than just emotion but something like redemption. Well done. Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2015-05-04 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      one day, as I became unstuck in time
    and galaxies grew, collapsed revived

    my soul rebooted and found its tune
    in a careless whirl round a distant moon

    Just a thought on yours.
    | Posted on 2015-04-19 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]

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