Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Man in the Moon Outeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: RamSlade
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 4/3/3
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 656
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 598



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMan in the Moon Outeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    the unusual seems to want tender
    beneath a full moon breakable
    a careful cloud scuttles across its anxious
    angels flying hushed tonight
    when the time is compliant they will bring their fragile
    deposit careful kisses upon his clever
    before they leave they take them back blushing
    the moon tames the clouds and shines naughtily
    a tear in the corner of his precious
    man in the moon has removed himself from the closet
    telling the stars curious and cleverly
    that he waits
    for the cow that jumped over the moon




    Submitted on 2015-04-29 16:24:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      As it turns out, I had mistaken this poem for another by remembering solely the last line!
    Either way, both were memorable for me...
    Currently wondering if I've got a thing for the lunar idea.
    The rhythm of this was almost suspenseful, if that makes sense. I wanted to go on; figure it out. The ending struck me at a personal level, yet I'm not sure why. It's not like I'm one for reasoning, anyway, but you know.
    It played like a movie - a really interesting animation composed by snippets, rather than a time-line. It continued to time-skip and you had no idea where you were at till it closed up and suddenly it all made sense.
    I just thought you could use a word or two in case you had any questions about the reader's perspective.
    Enjoyed it, overall.
    | Posted on 2015-05-14 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200207

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry