Meghkonna by Thenocturnal

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Meghkonna dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Thenocturnal
ASL Info:	24 / Male / Darkness
Elite Ratio:	1.05 - 4/4/4
Words:	179

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	707
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1054

Description:

Meghkonna dots

-------------------------------------------

You must be The Medusa! Looking into your eyes
I’m sure the onlookers will be turned to stone forever

No, you must be a warden! Gazing at you
There's no chance of fleeing, they will be locked in forever

God must have shown the patience to create your skins and face
Then he covers the bone with flesh and put an amazing soul in there

You don’t know how much I love the night,
Walking alone in the darkness, listening to the Nightingale
The Last gloomy night I could not find any of them singing
You must have stolen their sweet voice

Your lips are just like the petals of red rose and your prongs are shinning pearls,
They make your smile more attractive in the planet
And I can just stare your smile all day long, my dear…

Dear dry leaf please do me a favor,
Carry this letter to her
Tell her that she is the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen in my life
And I love her the most…

Submitted on 2015-05-07 19:45:19 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
Thanks for your precious time and comment dude. You are talking about forgiveness, but there is nothing to forgive bro, I’m really glad you liked it, and also I changed the line as you suggested. Again, thanks for your feelings and it’s appreciated. I wrote it for my imaginary girlfriend, and I gave her a metaphoric name “Meghkonna”. Megh = cloud and Konna = girl. Ha ha…. Have a nice day…
| Posted on 2015-05-18 00:00:00 | by Thenocturnal | [ Reply to This ]
My close friend has a thing for Skyrim, so when I read that fourth verse I rushed to introduce the poem to her. She did fancy it, might I say.
I adore this poem, though I do suggest changing the "stoned forever" to something more elaborate such as "turned to stone" or something along those lines. It might just be me, but I thought of getting high.
...Yeah, it's probably just me.
I don't feel the necessity of critiquing anything further; its simplicity suits the theme, and its overall message. This might just be perfect to dedicate to a lover, or a girl in a boy's English Lit. class - Cough, cough.
I might be too sweet on some writers, but...please forgive me for seeing practically nothing wrong, at least in terms of grammar, style, rhythm, etc.
| Posted on 2015-05-11 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

200225

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
The Promise written by annie0888
What happens written by Wolfwatching
Song written by Daniel Barlow
Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
In My Head written by faideddarkness
Whiteout written by layDsayD
Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
Date night written by expiring_touch
cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
4th of July written by layDsayD
The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
Break Up written by WriteSomething
Trails written by Daniel Barlow
untitled written by Chelebel
Wasps written by Wolfwatching
Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
One Thing written by Wolfwatching
Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
To Glow written by krs3332003
Push written by JanePlane
Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
It's Night Now written by RisingSon
Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
Linger written by saartha
Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.