Pre-dawn light peeks
Softly through windows
Lightening shadows to gray
Leaving silhouettes as eyes
Open in drowsy heaviness
Only to realize you observe
Every detail in the quiet.
A long masculine arm raises
The blanket in silent welcome
As we begin a well-rehearsed
choreography of body meeting body.
Naked breast to chest,
we lie in love's warm embrace.
Dark fingers stroke blonde hair
As feminine fingers trace through
a mat of soft crispness over chest.
Occasional kisses rain down--soft; sweet
As relaxed sighs whisper
through our intimate cocoon of comfort.
Deep contentment spreads
With every swish and beat..
Tha thump- tha thump- tha thump- tha thump
Beneath my ear as our hearts match rhythm.
Two souls intertwined in the joy of being
As the pre-dawn light peeks softly
Through our bedroom window
Great display. I loved how soft you created the atmosphere. I love those sleepy familiar moments. Intimacy at its peak. You described love making so beautifully capturing the soft feminity and deeply masculine relationship making for such a perfect union of two bodies in tune. Wonderful Jaycee I really enjoyed this.
Quite nice in a better than video scene kind of way. I feel relaxed just having read it. I would not know how to begin to offer any "help" at this point (as mentioned "think feedback"), although my own phrasing and style differs a bit from yours anyway. I could only offer how I might do something like it which would not be an improvement or "better" at all, only of a different mind. Besides, I'm a guy. ;)
I was obviously speechless when I left my first comment (speechless in a good way). However, I can't tell a lie: I was having some technical difficulties (but that doesn't mean this bit of poetry isn't worthy of eliciting feelings that words just cannot describe).
I love how you make the reader feel like they are part of a warm embrace. Your words seem to weave themselves together to make us feel a part of the world you have created. Not in voyeuristic sense...although there is a feeling of "watching" as things unfold.
The timing of this story and the rising sun are wonderful. What a beautiful way to start a new day!
When you have time, take a look at a piece that I wrote some time ago called "Sunrise". You might see something similar...
As always, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your newest work. Thank you for sharing!