[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Love's Embracedots

    Author: jaycee
    ASL Info:    44/F/ Texas
    Elite Ratio:    5.27 - 2626/1259/187
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 566
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1131

       To punctuate or not to punctuate

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove's Embracedots

    Love's Embrace

    Pre-dawn light peeks
    Softly through windows
    Lightening shadows to gray
    Leaving silhouettes as eyes
    Open in drowsy heaviness
    Only to realize you observe
    Every detail in the quiet.

    A long masculine arm raises
    The blanket in silent welcome
    As we begin a well-rehearsed
    choreography of body meeting body.

    Naked breast to chest,
    we lie in love's warm embrace.
    Dark fingers stroke blonde hair
    As feminine fingers trace through
    a mat of soft crispness over chest.
    Occasional kisses rain down--soft; sweet
    As relaxed sighs whisper
    through our intimate cocoon of comfort.

    Deep contentment spreads
    With every swish and beat..
    Tha thump- tha thump- tha thump- tha thump
    Beneath my ear as our hearts match rhythm.

    Two souls intertwined in the joy of being
    Commingled bodies
    At rest
    At peace
    As the pre-dawn light peeks softly
    Through our bedroom window

    Submitted on 2015-05-09 22:24:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Waking up with your love or lover - it's beautifully stated. I also got a bit of post orgasmic bliss in there :) Lovely!
    | Posted on 2015-05-22 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      Great display. I loved how soft you created the atmosphere. I love those sleepy familiar moments. Intimacy at its peak. You described love making so beautifully capturing the soft feminity and deeply masculine relationship making for such a perfect union of two bodies in tune. Wonderful Jaycee I really enjoyed this.
    | Posted on 2015-05-19 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Quite nice in a better than video scene kind of way. I feel relaxed just having read it. I would not know how to begin to offer any "help" at this point (as mentioned "think feedback"), although my own phrasing and style differs a bit from yours anyway. I could only offer how I might do something like it which would not be an improvement or "better" at all, only of a different mind. Besides, I'm a guy. ;)


    | Posted on 2015-05-13 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I was obviously speechless when I left my first comment (speechless in a good way). However, I can't tell a lie: I was having some technical difficulties (but that doesn't mean this bit of poetry isn't worthy of eliciting feelings that words just cannot describe).

    I love how you make the reader feel like they are part of a warm embrace. Your words seem to weave themselves together to make us feel a part of the world you have created. Not in voyeuristic sense...although there is a feeling of "watching" as things unfold.

    The timing of this story and the rising sun are wonderful. What a beautiful way to start a new day!

    When you have time, take a look at a piece that I wrote some time ago called "Sunrise". You might see something similar...

    As always, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your newest work. Thank you for sharing!


    | Posted on 2015-05-10 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]
    | Posted on 2015-05-09 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]