I Say by Teofila

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: I Say dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Teofila
ASL Info:	17, F, with the wolves
Elite Ratio:	0.4 - 210/104/71
Words:	34

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	1305
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	218

Description:

I Say

-------------------------------------------

Whisper dirty secrets in my ear
Lets pretend there's no one here
make me clutch the sheets
Dont stop until I scream
Love me harder
all the way
and dont stop until I say...

Submitted on 2015-05-13 18:56:44 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||

The whispers of dirty secrets in my ear
let me pretend there is no one there
and let me wet these satin sheets
as night sweats are my delusion.

Do not stop, I shall not scream
love is harder to take, is it not
if a pass, a fancy given-some
do not stop, do not love me.

| Posted on 2015-05-25 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
  sad

| Posted on 2015-05-19 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
  Is this supposed to be a time-line?
I supposed so, as I read, because it just randomly skipped from being set in public to being set in private; as I assume the sheets are placed on the bed + located in a bed-room.
Didn't like how short it was, felt like a message meant to be sent through SMS/IMming.
Try a little more vocab and some punctuation.
| Posted on 2015-05-14 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

200239

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.