Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Saydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Teofila
    ASL Info:    17, F, with the wolves
    Elite Ratio:    0.48 - 210/102/70
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 892
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 218



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Saydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Whisper dirty secrets in my ear
    Lets pretend there's no one here
    make me clutch the sheets
    Dont stop until I scream
    Love me harder
    all the way
    and dont stop until I say...




    Submitted on 2015-05-13 18:56:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      
    The whispers of dirty secrets in my ear
    let me pretend there is no one there
    and let me wet these satin sheets
    as night sweats are my delusion.

    Do not stop, I shall not scream
    love is harder to take, is it not
    if a pass, a fancy given-some
    do not stop, do not love me.
    | Posted on 2015-05-25 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      sad
    | Posted on 2015-05-19 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      Is this supposed to be a time-line?
    I supposed so, as I read, because it just randomly skipped from being set in public to being set in private; as I assume the sheets are placed on the bed + located in a bed-room.
    Didn't like how short it was, felt like a message meant to be sent through SMS/IMming.
    Try a little more vocab and some punctuation.
    | Posted on 2015-05-14 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200239

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    This written by Chelebel
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry