Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: disassociation dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 139/254/170
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1455
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 417



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdisassociation dots
    -------------------------------------------


    there is heat in my cheeks, and looseness in my bones:
    we are rolling towards summer, rolling stones
    through half-lit alleys, heavily perfumed
    spring rain stains our lips
    and tarmac in its morning haste.

    You have your arm around me, but I am bloodless -
    disassociation made famous
    heart and mind -- while one flutters,
    the other floats.





    Submitted on 2015-05-16 15:10:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      as far as poetry goes... i think this is as good as you can get it.

    i like that it doesn't sit in one spot. and i very much like that some of the boring bits (rolling stones) i long to hate actually end up being my favourites because they lead up to my, for real, truly favourite lines.

    L2 sucks
    L3 is banging
    L's 4 and 5 take my breath away.

    the 2nd strophe:

    as a window to experience, life is not about just one thing.

    so. in reading this, i kind of want to hug you cos it's
    kind of like you are walking down a ramp holding the hand of an alien and i can say (to the world) there, mother fuckers! i told you so.

    Really good writing in Hamburg.
    | Posted on 2015-05-17 00:00:00 | by theludus | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200246

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry