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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Ice and The Stonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Esophagus1
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 231/279/149
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 595
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1181



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Ice and The Stonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I've been getting this hungry stomach ready
    prodding with bones through nerves and skin
    I've been holding these giant boulders steady
    waiting for it all to end again

    Stand on my new bones
    and see what could not have been
    The tapestry of fate long sewn
    Ash to ash, dust to dust, and kin to kin

    Now we are steel
    Now we are the coal
    Now we are the ice
    and the stones trampled down below

    Cuz what's been's dead and gone
    and everything's just straight wrong
    and as everyone sits and looks on
    the world falls and burns like a sun

    Cut my shadow
    cuz it's what I don't want to do
    but don't follow
    Fate will do it's will to you.

    Now we are the ice
    Now we are the stone
    With hearts that are on fire
    It's the blood in our veigns that runs cold

    Cuz what's been's dead and gone
    and everything's just straight wrong
    and as everyone sits and looks on
    the world falls and burns like a sun




    Submitted on 2015-05-25 17:34:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I can appreciate this perspective. I see the fallen world, the general society going down a dying path. Yet individuality is still alive, our souls can be nurtured
    and refreshed as our physical bodies decay.

    Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2015-07-03 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Another ending and not wanting to be the one to cut the ties. With your imagery, this should feel like a cold hard write, instead I just hear a weary voice of inevitabiliity. This is not easy but you know it's coming and will be draining. My only suggestion is to correct veigns to veins. The use of the slang "cuz" instead of 'cause did not bother me. It is commonly used and accepted. Hope your world soon sees light.
    Jan
    | Posted on 2015-06-27 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      Feels like lyrics when you read aloud.
    Can't appreciate the misspellings (e.g. "Cuz") and odd phrasing (e.g. "straight wrong"), but the concept is worth a little praise - especially the first verse.
    | Posted on 2015-06-06 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


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