Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 1990 Uniformdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kael Fenshir
    ASL Info:    26 / M / That weird place
    Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 17/57/52
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Rant/Misc
    Total Views: 601
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 267



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots1990 Uniformdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I carved you an entrance to the only spot on the tree
    The back alley garden springs forth from the mind
    And the only conscience we can parry is the one you own
    For nothing else but our lives can we mistaken so easily
    The lives that we sow.




    Submitted on 2015-06-05 01:51:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Feels a bit like breadcrumbs leading to a larger opening in the consciousness. Like memories held between two people and the way those things never match up. And history. How it impacts not only us, but those around us also. Almost like a relationship where one person is solipsistic and the other a little more focused on what's happening outside. Really intriguing poem- from the title on down.
    | Posted on 2015-07-04 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      This was incredibly original. I also really like gardens and planting for metaphors. I felt a personal connection to the piece. I enjoyed the allusion to self sacrifice in the first line, giving the only thing there is to give, opening up the only piece. A hint at vulnerability which is so powerful in a spiritual sense. Very Nic piece.

    Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2015-07-03 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Everything written has a beautiful play- I would only make a few mild suggestions.

    "And the only (conscience) we can parry is the one you own
    For nothing else but our lives (we have) mistaken so easily
    The lives that we sow."
    Not sure if you meant Sew/Sow- only doubting since it's such a common thing. Either way, really, doesn't matter. The piece is...so darling.
    | Posted on 2015-06-05 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200322

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry