Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 1990 Uniformdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kael Fenshir
    ASL Info:    26 / M / That weird place
    Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 17/57/52
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Rant/Misc
    Total Views: 629
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 267



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots1990 Uniformdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I carved you an entrance to the only spot on the tree
    The back alley garden springs forth from the mind
    And the only conscience we can parry is the one you own
    For nothing else but our lives can we mistaken so easily
    The lives that we sow.




    Submitted on 2015-06-05 01:51:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Feels a bit like breadcrumbs leading to a larger opening in the consciousness. Like memories held between two people and the way those things never match up. And history. How it impacts not only us, but those around us also. Almost like a relationship where one person is solipsistic and the other a little more focused on what's happening outside. Really intriguing poem- from the title on down.
    | Posted on 2015-07-04 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      This was incredibly original. I also really like gardens and planting for metaphors. I felt a personal connection to the piece. I enjoyed the allusion to self sacrifice in the first line, giving the only thing there is to give, opening up the only piece. A hint at vulnerability which is so powerful in a spiritual sense. Very Nic piece.

    Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2015-07-03 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Everything written has a beautiful play- I would only make a few mild suggestions.

    "And the only (conscience) we can parry is the one you own
    For nothing else but our lives (we have) mistaken so easily
    The lives that we sow."
    Not sure if you meant Sew/Sow- only doubting since it's such a common thing. Either way, really, doesn't matter. The piece is...so darling.
    | Posted on 2015-06-05 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200322

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cover written by saartha
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The World written by jjd
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    prison written by ShyOne
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry