Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Black Rose dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: delusional
    ASL Info:    42
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 75/98/18
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 591
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 508



    Description:
       tmi


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Black Rose dots
    -------------------------------------------


    He thinks he's mine
    and says I "own" him.
    I only want him to be free..
    .....like me.
    I will put no chains on him
    I wouldn't wear myself,
    and no pain will I inflict
    that I wouldn't want to feel..
    as if through pain
    somehow we heal.
    I will have him..
    anyway I want him;
    and through his pleasure
    (and mine)
    we will heal.
    From the ashes of what was..
    love will arise.




    Submitted on 2015-06-05 20:02:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the point you make, being together you attempt to regain a better individual state. As the two of you are connected you heal. As he is vulnerable to you, you take your love unselfishly and give him freedom, give him a sense of wholeness that is derived from your coupling. A lot of people don't get that in relationship so I applaud this.
    | Posted on 2015-07-03 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Great dramatic verse. Sometimes we can heal from the past and rise through the ashes. Some may still cling but once your free of the pile, the rest gets easier for both. Those chains can only be chains if they restrict the freedom your searching for. Of course Jani Joplin says, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to loose" and if thats true, give me the ties that bind any day.
    jaycee
    | Posted on 2015-06-15 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I actually wasn't gonna read this 'cause I read the title and asked myself "Why bother?",
    needless to say, you took me by surprise. Surely, the choice of words and lackadaisical vibe this piece gives off isn't much of a trip, but the flow and its message are truly well-put elements.
    Good thing I gave it benefit of the doubt; I'm glad I read this.
    | Posted on 2015-06-15 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm. this is fantastic. i love it. not much to say but that it is eloquent. i wonder if it's real since you are delusional. JK. you seem poignant and on point. good work.
    | Posted on 2015-06-07 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200329

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Drink written by jjd
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    Bond written by saartha
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry