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Author: Carosuel
ASL Info:    26/F/Twirlwind
Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 96 /73 /28
Words: 103
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1215
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 635


Love poem, in a new format


The pulsating flame burns what it needs.
I'd rather love the sea.
Fire means I'm branded when it feeds.

"Love me!" fire begs in cruelty,
luring me to the heat.
And, skin-to-skin, I join in it's plea.

The sun is ablaze and it is sweet.
It kisses with each beam.
But closeness is an ill-fated feat.

Your soul is an all-consuming steam.
I'd rather love the sea.
How, though, it would pale to this searing dream.

I would descend into lunacy,
without the torment and purity.

Submitted on 2015-06-15 22:25:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I liked the contrast between the elements in this poem. The only part I'm unsure about is the rhyming of cruelty and plea. I know it sounds about right but something just doesn't look ok to me, I would change that part. Everything else is great. How you've been girl? Still posting here? I haven't written anything in these last years, that's why I haven't been posting anything. I've found an old poem of mine which I think is good and I decided to post it here. It's called Hologram. If you ever come back to this place, check it out, maybe you'll like it...
| Posted on 2016-10-21 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
  Ironic, at least from my (reader) perspective.
What initially beckoned my attention was the title, as I myself am Sagittarius, so reading this...was as though my passion were turned upside down.
I might make a response to this to show you what I mean. Keep a look-out. Thanks.
| Posted on 2015-06-22 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]
  I have descended into lunacy. Sweet wonderful epiphanies of ecstasy. Yet I wonder, is this euphoria a mystic symbiotic-ness or a mutual vicarious recalcitrance?

| Posted on 2015-06-16 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

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