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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Eve's Choicedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rhythmal
    Elite Ratio:    2.41 - 29/50/46
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 539
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 864



    Description:
       I wrote this a couple years ago and I'm not really sure how I feel about it. If you like it let me know. If you think it needs work let me know. If you think it doesn't make any sense at all and is complete gibberish, please, feel free to let me know.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEve's Choicedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The Tree of Life, the Tree of Knowledge
    And the well from which they drew
    The love of a god that shrank but never grew.

    A woman’s touch and a trade was made
    Brokered by the Serpent brother
    A god as well, son of Yahweh’s mother.

    Eve the daughter, wife, and sister
    Of Adam and his god.
    Created in the image of Anat-Yahu

    She went to the tree

    Made aware by her Serpent kin
    Of the existence of these certain sins

    She went to the Tree

    Knowing well the consequence of this trade
    For her touch, her innocence and trust
    Something new, something old
    Something warm, to ward off the cold

    The totality of Human Morality




    Submitted on 2015-06-21 03:31:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You know Adam was present during that fall? He was right there with her or so it would seem the way it reads in scripture. Eve gets so much put on her for this but Adam and Eve were a united pair. It seems there are many versions to that story. I like yours as well. The style in which you told it was unique.


    She went to the tree


    I love the drama in those words hanging in the air as all of humanity hangs in those actions.
    | Posted on 2015-07-06 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      fresh take.
    | Posted on 2015-06-23 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200417

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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