Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: sortingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 224
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 572
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1336



    Description:
       A combination of emotional things I have been dealing with and having to literally sort through years of stuff I had stored at my patents house until they moved and I had to go through it all and decide what to keep. Some of this stuff I think I keep just BC it's tradition. Like prom napkins.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssortingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    One by one the seconds pass
    The heat melts onto my sticky skin
    Rolling or running or resting
    Time and I wrestle for demands
    With no clear winner
    Solitude embraces patience
    With a stranger always watching me proceed
    Creating so much pressure
    That I feel it is impossible to relax
    Like sucking in when my jeans feel so tight
    Or frequently running to the bathroom on hot summer days when I am menstrating because everything feels wet in this Alabama heat
    Days and days go by like this
    You and I go dancing like we have never met
    I flip through pages and pages of our story to find things that I forgot that can break my heart or make me feel special
    Again and again
    I have always had a fondness for symmetry
    I have always been fascinated by the revolving seasons we endure
    How similar and how strange
    How familiar feels like family through a mirror that got dirty in the back of a closet in our old house
    There are layers to these thoughts
    There boxes and boxes of painted memories and scrap paper and doodles and photos and letters
    Why do I keep holding on to things just because I remember
    I work so hard just to keep from feeling like there is something that I lost





    Submitted on 2015-06-25 17:05:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the simple language which is actually pretty gorgeous when appearing so easily expressed. Then there's the complexity of what is expressed or mulled over but its cool [ really cool] that its put forward in a straightforward manner...

    fascinated by the rolling seasons..............................we endure.

    Those two things dont really go together, but, why not
    And so its really cool and it subtlely reinforces that everything is everything thing youve got going on here.

    Symmetry/ revolving seasons we endure....

    The language prepares the ear and so i really enjoyed the way similar/ familiar/ mirror
    all showed up.


    Youve got balls talking about taking shits and wet junk in poems and i think because of the repoir you have with you yourself or you and a poem .... its just natural but it elevates it.


    Wrestle FOR demands seemed like awkward usage but hey, like Emwren was saying this poem is really something else.

    A lot of times the poem i write falls short of what is felt
    and it could still be really well received but if it doesnt match the source it lacks that real validity. It doesnt feel like that here.

    I truly loved the whole poem but i guess the last two lines and i lost by itself....

    I really identified with that bc ive been there. I know what it means.

    It was awesomeness to read that, sad and happy and like the poem, full of all that stuff.

    Haha, feels like ive hardly touched the surface, as you have it its essentially written.
    | Posted on 2015-08-22 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the honesty and authenticity of this. And that this seems immediate, like something jotted down in a fever, but the stronger for that. I write and rewrite and so on, and sometimes I think a poem or expression loses a bit of its urgency or a bit of itself during that process. Reading this, I feel it's something I can trust, and as though it expresses something vital and common to us all at one time or another. And in this everyday language that becomes elevated because of the way it's been expressed.

    I can't write like this, and so I always get excited when I read someone who can. And well. I really enjoyed this.
    | Posted on 2015-07-04 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      The gulf coast heat and humidity have a lot to answer for. It weighs you down and adds pressure to already precarious moods and situations. I wish I could tell you that the pressure from time will ease as quickly as a change in weather, but it may be a while. Adding kids to the equation, is like throwing firecrackers into a camp fire. You never know exactly what's going to happen, but you can bet it will be spectacular. It changes every everything: routines, time with friends, marriage
    There are a few burns along the way, but smart women know to get away from the heat and apply first aid when needed. You will do the same. Hang in there. This will soon be a season past, you'll find your rhytm, and it will be another memory to examine later.And do you really eed prom napkins? Actually at your 25th class reunion it's nice to have a scrapbook. I didn't but my mom did. It looks like she was the unofficial class historian, but she was a bit of a hoarder so maybe not the best example..lol
    | Posted on 2015-06-27 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      If more hoarders had eidetic memories there would be less hoarders. I feel for you having been confronted with similar quandaries myself in the past. Unfortunately whether mentally or physically we can't save it all.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2015-06-25 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200436

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    prison written by ShyOne
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Records I written by Raphael
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Shi written by ShyOne
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry