[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Secrets of Timedots

    Author: CaiZutto
    ASL Info:    27/M/OR
    Elite Ratio:    3.78 - 8/14/13
    Words: 381
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 942
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2342

       My love is away for some time, I'm alone aside from the children. This is the bittersweet tale of being apart.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSecrets of Timedots

    Time is but a crawl when the sound of you breathing is not near.
    The depth of my soul cries out to father time "Why?
    Why must you keep your secrets?"
    His response but an icy gaze, filling my heart with turmoil;
    Counting the seconds...
    The minutes...
    The hours...
    The days until you can once again be dreaming beside me.
    The terror of sleep heats my heart with an inferno
    That only you can quell.
    The relentless thump and tap in my chest grows quiet as you near.
    Your smile invades my every waking moment.
    Your inner light, a vivid pain my soul,
    While the steadfast reminders of your absence abound.
    Father time gazes at my shattered soul and does nothing.
    I rage at him "How can you let this go on!?"
    His response but an icy gaze, filling my heart with turmoil;
    Counting the seconds...
    The minutes...
    The hours...
    The days until you can once again be breathing beside me.
    A single day has yet to come in which I do not love you.
    That is a day that will never be.
    As our souls draw nearer, I can remember your scent
    Filling my mind with a flood of ecstasy shared.
    My mind ablaze with your wonder and beauty.
    My knees weak and trembling, I await your return.
    I plead with father time "What must I do?
    What is it to grant me your favor?"
    His response but an icy gaze, filling my heart with turmoil;
    Counting the seconds...
    The minutes...
    The hours...
    The days until you may once again be sitting, my arm around you.
    Lo, the day has arrived! Once again to be yours.
    Tell me not of your journeys, but of your heart's desires.
    Tell me in that voice, so sweet (my siren),
    That all is right with your home in my arms.
    Words matter not with your hand in mine,
    Side by side, with all of life awaiting us.
    The depth of my soul cries out to father time "How?
    How could you dream to take this away?"
    His response but an icy gaze, yet I yearn for his secrets no more.
    The counting done.
    The wait is over.
    Time is ours.
    The dream now fulfilled, the days of us together are all that remain.

    Submitted on 2015-07-12 03:08:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Almost too good...I could hardly comprehend such strong sentiments, but what with your excellent wording, the reader manages to empathize anyhow.
    Very impressive, very original. I haven't read something based off a father's perspective in a bit. I appreciate the thought, and I appreciate the realistic point of view you have on the matter, as it is as real to you as my computer screen at this moment.
    | Posted on 2015-08-18 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]
      Woah this was really good. Liking the repeating chorus here. Very effective. And the personification of Time. I've been there before, and this was making my chest tighten with the anxiety that comes from being at the mercy of time.

    Really good stuff
    | Posted on 2015-07-17 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Bond written by saartha
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Every..... written by jackz
    AI written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    the living moment written by ShyOne




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]