Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Contradicted Me || part 24dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyPeriodical
    ASL Info:    18/m/pr
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 288/229/264
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 776
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 781



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsContradicted Me || part 24dots
    -------------------------------------------


    My contacts list never reaches 10
    Each move another bidding they be erased
    Just as anyone and everyone
    from my life

    These thoughts identify,
    not only that, but manifest
    And I create this world around me
    Where it is what it is
    and nothing can be done about that.

    Where my control is over what is said and done
    Sans social company taken by another one

    And I sustain a perpetual loneliness that I and only I allow myself submission unto.

    Crept between the thighs of another woman
    Battered and dismantled
    Her initial predecessor standing in the hallway
    Smug and unguarded
    Am I simply giving a try
    to designate what has been forgotten?




    Submitted on 2015-08-02 21:23:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The life of an introvert. As I see it one of the hardest things to do in this life is make that final decision to truly be a part of yourself, no matter the consequences. A good quote I found to describe this situation.

    "Well it's hard to find a reason, when all you have is doubts
    Hard to see inside yourself when can't see your way out"

    -Passenger

    I know he's a little mainstream but the quote is from a song of his called "Whispers" and I find it reflects introverts so well in 2 lines. Anyway, in terms of writing style, you could stand to use a little imagery, the style you are writing in seems vague or distant, I don't know if that was intentional or not though! Have a great one.
    | Posted on 2015-08-04 00:00:00 | by Zanitystar | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200526

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Linger written by saartha
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    To written by SavedDragon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry