Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: under the protection of the sundots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: pioneerheart
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 204/205/140
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 573
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 964



    Description:
       one of my first recollections of my youth
    and my last recollections before my sleep...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsunder the protection of the sundots
    -------------------------------------------


    earliest recollection; hop-scotch, innocence

    radiant sun; egotistical childlike rational

    hopped the numbers; hop, skip and a jump

    my first Father, the planet, star the Sun

    up in Waterloo, Los Angeles; thought he followed right behind

    without the knowledge of gravity and solar systems

    safety in the warmth on my skin

    carefree so far yet closer to sin

    all the future unknown

    before the world

    in dawn

    still standing in a yellow dress crotchet

    curly, wonderous, wig borrowed from the attic's den

    now a wild driver

    escaping death by narrow whim

    still the daughter of the reddest, star

    that we wish upon

    and, the Fiat doesn't slam against any hell

    under the protection of the sun




    Submitted on 2015-08-06 02:17:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is beautiful. A gem. Kind of a little bit of a ride, but that finish. Tying it all together like that. That was very calming, therapeutic. Thank you very much for sharing.
    | Posted on 2015-08-10 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200533

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You read free written by poetotoe
    prison written by ShyOne
    Fasade written by jackz
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Cover written by saartha
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Records I written by Raphael
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry