Do you read your poems aloud? I dont really so I dont know if it helps, but I believe this would read well. I like how you get so much detail into such a short poem. The sound in italics is good, it captures a little moment maybe. I see the date is written, is this a notebook entry, or something you recorded. Did you work on it long? It seems very immediate to me, but I don't know.It feels like being at home, but in the wild too. Nothing was particularly unclear to me.