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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Around the Mountaindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 494
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 948



    Description:
       Things she thought about.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAround the Mountaindots
    -------------------------------------------


    I can do it all again,
    And she tried
    One step at a time
    Without reason or rhyme

    I can make life
    And never ask why
    Or how it all began

    Just a series of parallel expectations without form
    Never lied to
    Never given up on

    Without sense it all started
    No difference
    Just a natural thing

    Beauty began again,
    Breathing from source other than our lungs
    Breathing as an example for an action you never observed

    It had life and it swallowed the air
    Regurgitated

    We wouldn't interrupt
    We wouldn't rush
    We wouldn't forget

    We would forgive and forgive again and find our faith in waiting whether good or bad

    She didn't watch the hands on the clock
    She turned around and watched the sun come up over the horizon




    Submitted on 2015-08-15 23:06:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It seemed very stream of consciousness to me, flighty in the way I might expect to hear from a distracted child. Not in a bad way, rather in a way that left me feeling that while I glimpsed it, I didn't quite experience everything I was meant to. Parts of it, like making life without asking why, seemed startlingly clear and powerfully brief, other parts felt like snippets of a story I want to read but am not familiar with.

    Overall I liked it, it was unique and whimsical while hinting at serious topics. Thanks for submitting.

    The Raven
    | Posted on 2015-08-26 00:00:00 | by lucianraven | [ Reply to This ]
      When I read your poems, I think you have a naturally poetic soul. The ability to capture the essence of something in a very organic, unpretentious way. I always enjoy this type of poetry, and I think you captured something about spirit here, something hopeful and life-source like. Makes me feel like certain things that seem distant or impossible can be pulled in by facing the sun. So to speak. It's lovely.
    | Posted on 2015-08-18 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      She say lucky but sing love-key? Strange that a heart can become a stranger to the chest. The treasure being that this matters most. Moss on a tree that leads us out of a forest. Strangers lights that tell us home is this way. Fear that turns out to be protecting us after all. The seemingly most insane thought that turns out to be the healthiest one we could never admit before. Resolve?
    | Posted on 2015-08-16 00:00:00 | by ShyOne | [ Reply to This ]


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