Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Birth of Surrealismdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ShadowParadox
    Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 23/66/34
    Words: 379
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 674
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2794



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Birth of Surrealismdots
    -------------------------------------------


    ~
    Creatively I died inside a butterfly’s wing
    Buried in the womb of a bird’s song

    Sing…

    Elevation
    Planted deep in a spiders imagination
    Twisted, converted
    Underneath a pyramid
    Midriff monsoon
    Against the red noon of the Moon’s
    Lunar tunes

    Nightmares growing from daydreams
    Like weeds
    Reflecting the soul as darkness gleams
    Broken seeds

    The eyes of the Owl see
    As wisdom he reads
    Turn green with greed
    No longer wise as pride
    Glides and rides
    Across the deceit of his landslide

    Crashing like a crystal avalanche
    Crushing lives and habitats
    See one choice can lead back to the beginning
    Of the first inning of a sliver lining
    That has become dull

    Losing its shine and luster
    Like a haunted hall
    In a old mansion cobwebbed with fluster
    Skeletons and ghost threaded in walls
    Shredded inside papery calls
    Peeling from the owners fall

    I’ve died inside the butterfly’s wing
    The wing carved on a wedding ring
    Its circle symbolizes my cycle
    A tilted infinity inside the curve of clarity

    Of my fall
    That became a papery call
    While threaded in a skeleton wall
    Cobwebbed with fluster
    Like a haunted hall
    That has lost its shine and luster
    Which became dull

    Like the first inning of the silver lining
    This choice has led back to the beginning
    Crushing lives and habitats
    Like a crystal avalanche
    Crashing across the deceit of this landslide

    Which glides and rides
    No longer wise as pride
    Turns green with greed
    As wisdom he reads
    The eyes of the Owl see
    Broken seeds
    Reflecting the soul as darkness gleams
    Like nightmare and weeds
    Growing from daydreams

    Lunar tunes of the Moon
    Glowing against red noon midriff monsoon
    Underneath a pyramid
    Twisted, converted
    Planted deep in a spiders imagination
    Elevation
    Buried in the womb of a bird’s song

    Sing…

    For I’ve creatively died inside the ink of a butterfly’s wing
    Dripping from an alien’s pen-well
    Melting like clear gel
    Faded and blurred
    Secretly grew in between each verb
    Hid myself in sentences
    Like parables in genesis

    With glee…

    I impregnated the meaning inside me
    Then birthed surrealism
    In a chaotic schism
    Between the fifth and second chord
    Of a poetic discord
    ~




    Submitted on 2015-08-25 00:08:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like your style, especially the flow of imagery, although I don't know if this rhyme pattern goes well with the subject matter. I mean it's a good poem and I wouldn't change a word from it but I would have done it differently. I would have left longer portions in prose as to express the vast expanses of surrealist paintings and only rounded the corners of the central imagery with rhyming. But I'm too concerned with the visual aspects of my poems anyway, so maybe that's just me...
    | Posted on 2016-10-19 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      If I could have his as a tattoo , I would
    | Posted on 2016-02-11 00:00:00 | by Chelebel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200583

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Dream written by closetpoet
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Live In Between written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry