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Photo in Berlin


Author: Angeles
Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 5 /13 /19
Words: 101
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 1686
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 607



Description:




Photo in Berlin



Who took a picture in the shade
Of you; stripped down,
As close to naked as I will see?
The navy poka-dot bra
Is something you haven't changed.
You left it there for me to find
As much as I could be anyone.
Not to hurt or soothe me,
For nothing new about you
Would care to be alone
In my possesion.
No, the light in there will fade
Like a nostalgic dream.
And I won't let myself ponder over this
Even as I search it in the shade,
To hurt myself
And wonder where you got such courage.




Submitted on 2015-08-31 17:13:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  concur all above…

and plus also, (and plus also the above will understand clumsiness) i like the clumsiness.

i found there was an unexpected/unlooked for naive nuance to this that suggests young years with an adult taste for lost or temporarily missing decadence.

i just think this illustrates the fact that poetry is or can be in equal parts uplifting and frustrating and i find this awkwardness when written down to be entirely to my own taste and style.

i could advise/revise and all that blah but for now for me theres no need: you've somehow set a moment of importance in clumsy amber and that will do.
| Posted on 2015-10-05 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this although with the tense work it is a little difficult to follow- but (as far as i understood it) i thought it was a strong poem- kind of like the narrator was the darkroom or the liquid or the process - so close but uninvolved and i think that's high marks for developing that perspective. Close- with what seems to be a real knowledge of the subject/person but alienated by that distance - so - antiquated in a sense while this spirit moves on with her evolution, the last line is as good as anything you could want to read. If i wrote it, I'd be proud to have written this poem, a poem so loaded it's really a treat for the reader.
| Posted on 2015-09-03 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


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