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    dots Submission Name: Photo in Berlindots

    Author: Angeles
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 5/13/19
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1078
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 607


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    dotsPhoto in Berlindots

    Who took a picture in the shade
    Of you; stripped down,
    As close to naked as I will see?
    The navy poka-dot bra
    Is something you haven't changed.
    You left it there for me to find
    As much as I could be anyone.
    Not to hurt or soothe me,
    For nothing new about you
    Would care to be alone
    In my possesion.
    No, the light in there will fade
    Like a nostalgic dream.
    And I won't let myself ponder over this
    Even as I search it in the shade,
    To hurt myself
    And wonder where you got such courage.

    Submitted on 2015-08-31 17:13:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      concur all aboveā€¦

    and plus also, (and plus also the above will understand clumsiness) i like the clumsiness.

    i found there was an unexpected/unlooked for naive nuance to this that suggests young years with an adult taste for lost or temporarily missing decadence.

    i just think this illustrates the fact that poetry is or can be in equal parts uplifting and frustrating and i find this awkwardness when written down to be entirely to my own taste and style.

    i could advise/revise and all that blah but for now for me theres no need: you've somehow set a moment of importance in clumsy amber and that will do.
    | Posted on 2015-10-05 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this although with the tense work it is a little difficult to follow- but (as far as i understood it) i thought it was a strong poem- kind of like the narrator was the darkroom or the liquid or the process - so close but uninvolved and i think that's high marks for developing that perspective. Close- with what seems to be a real knowledge of the subject/person but alienated by that distance - so - antiquated in a sense while this spirit moves on with her evolution, the last line is as good as anything you could want to read. If i wrote it, I'd be proud to have written this poem, a poem so loaded it's really a treat for the reader.
    | Posted on 2015-09-03 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]

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