Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Quickwater (2)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KeeperOfLight
    ASL Info:    23, Vancouver BC
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 41/64/76
    Words: 179
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 695
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1239



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsQuickwater (2)dots
    -------------------------------------------



    I'm taking a moments rest
    somehow I'm all drenched

    I'm feelin' like a frozen pond,
    and i've fallen into my own depths

    the sting of it continues to falls over me

    as I breath it in, its all cold
    like the wind, taking all of me
    convulsing, and freezing inside of me

    when I finally exhale
    it takes a little bit
    of my words
    and off they go

    to where the sky
    accumulates the sound
    of each hail
    by increasing its volume

    without warning
    my eyes that have no master
    lead me astray,

    plotting each percussion
    my heart beat faster
    as I realized

    they let me be toppled
    by the cold hail, and cold water

    they never saw me through
    the bubbles

    goose bumps become my texture
    my vision builds up an unpalatable salt

    I watch from a distance
    as I fall with gravity
    and evaporate before
    I hit the cold water.

    I finally decide
    that there's no substance
    to what i'm trying to say




    Submitted on 2015-09-02 00:54:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      What a lovely vapour.

    We enter your vapour and follow it until it disappears in the cold water - your breath on the winter air.

    But as you say, your breath has no substance. Of course not, it is life itself, the word made flesh, and contains every substance there is or will be - but betrayed. A Judas with every breath - betrayal with every kiss, and each breath a hanging.

    | Posted on 2015-09-17 00:00:00 | by Torie | [ Reply to This ]
      Love your goose bumps as your texture....
    | Posted on 2015-09-02 00:00:00 | by Chelebel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200616

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cover written by saartha
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Shi written by ShyOne
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    prison written by ShyOne
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The World written by jjd
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Dream written by closetpoet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry