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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Summer (working title)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.08 - 366/364/154
    Words: 203
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1058
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1351



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSummer (working title)dots
    -------------------------------------------



    To think of Autumn’s audacity in taking Summer
    In slowly swallowing her like these raucous clouds
    Devouring the moon ligament by ligament

    Even the apple tree is weakened –
    Her labor is lost
    To the cold white cackle of the black raven

    Since childhood I’ve been enthralled by that reaper
    Skulking in the sky –

    There is something unrequited about that bird
    Something jarring about its stoic blackness

    It reminds me of the weight of nothingness –-

    Or the pale stillness that follows a touch of her coal wings
    The solvent of incessant presence
    That strips the lithe moments from our minds

    And leaves us frames of bone knocking
    Into each other searching for the warmth of the womb

    But if Summer must succumb
    She shall in chatoyant incandescence - in

    Harvest Reds
    And
    Wheat field Yellows
    And
    Burnished Suns
    And
    Stubborn Greens
    And
    Creamy pink skies studded with the arrival of turquoise stars

    A Sovereign tapestry draped over even the darkest Autumn
    To encourage those left behind that


    And shall
    Return in the Crocus---




    Submitted on 2015-09-02 00:57:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Lovely. I wish I could say something more constructive. I love the imagery here. And the personification of the seasons really works. Yes. Well done.
    | Posted on 2015-10-04 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      Just the other day I watched a raven eat another bird just as Autumn eats Summer. But how the other birds hate the raven and dive bomb it to drive it away, yet I have seen four ravens mourning the death of a fellow raven. Does Autumn mourn Summer?
    | Posted on 2015-09-15 00:00:00 | by Torie | [ Reply to This ]
      Another great observation of nature. I never looked at it this way, as you introduced in the first stanza. And the evidence you provide along with this is really good, the raven and the stoic blackness, for the rest of the piece. I think this is not only an interesting piece but it is very well written and supported. Awesome awesome.
    | Posted on 2015-09-03 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


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