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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Just Right Now dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 604
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 363



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJust Right Now dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am sitting here in this fucking pool hall
    I spent my last ten dollars on beer
    I like playing pool
    Its not the pool halls fault that I'm so sad or that I drank to much beer
    Oh pool hall forgive me for my resentment

    How did I get here after five fucking years
    Of solid companionship
    I thought anyways




    Submitted on 2015-09-04 18:59:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the use of the oh pool hall line, everything else is so solid it (the use of a rubbish/fantasy thought) just seems to solidify that.

    I like that contrast also because it points to an unfairness. you know sometimes life is NOT fair and that's where you can come to a learning, so i like that rubbish line again because it's a bit desperate or unrealistic

    where the narrator could be poking fun at themselves or actually mirroring the situation (the fact that it doesn't make sense) to highlight the injustice.

    It also makes me think of a prayer or if the pool hall could answer back it might say keep doing what you are doing, finish your beer- and then go back to what it was you were doing.

    It's good to break away or pout and protest but then you get back to the thing you have been doing.


    Immediate thought is: 5 yrs, where's the faith?

    You see what i mean? The narrator seems like she deserves a break, but more than that she seems like she's in the wrong place.

    I don't mean to presume or attempt to sermonize,
    Just- i like the poem, it's very human.

    Guard down and direct, something very honest about that.

    | Posted on 2015-09-05 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      So sorry to hear, your not getting along with the hubby??? Need to talk? I'll be there!

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2015-09-05 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


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