Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ghost Songdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: doppelganger
    ASL Info:    26/f/your brain
    Elite Ratio:    1.98 - 34/223/160
    Words: 254
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 600
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1387



    Description:
       This is my personal favourite of all I've written in the past five years. I've even turned it into a folk song with my ukulele. It's dedicated to a certain unnamed someone who will likely never stop haunting me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGhost Songdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ghost, ghost,
    I made in my mind,
    You rise unbroken,
    Swimming sweetly
    Through time.
    I cast you to shadows
    When your truth
    Went away.
    But our spirit comes
    Swiftly
    On my quietest days.
    Your bloody maw opens
    To devour the chains,
    I forged for you, only,
    When your truth
    Went away.
    And here, you've come gliding,
    Triumphant.
    (to stay?)
    O, cast out my demons!
    Foul ghost-
    Go away.

    Ghost, ghost
    You come with the storms,
    (drumming dread and desire,
    a breeze that blows warm.)
    Out of the soul-pit,
    Where I layed you down-
    To rise ever higher
    And wear the old crown.
    I buried you deep.
    With those parts of me
    That remain raw and reaching-
    still-
    You whisper and leave,
    Having planted a seed
    That thrives
    Through my efforts
    To kill.

    Ghost, ghost,
    That devoured the fruit,
    Contemptuous, removed their skins.
    And with your soft lips
    You drank the pure kiss
    (Of the garden I grew
    out of night,
    for the day.
    Oh, the solace I knew.)
    When your truth
    Went away.




    Submitted on 2015-09-05 07:08:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Haunted by the past? Stinks, can't exactly exorcise the ghost if the ghost IS the past. Unless you just forget. I suppose the Ghost goes when the mind learns that if the memory burns then it's body is best left in an urn for the past is but the ashes of a present and can from that blow eyes in the presence of what had been a clear mind.

    Ryan
    | Posted on 2015-09-15 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the structure in this, the two verses mirroring eachother

    maw/raw and reaching still.


    you could tell that it was a song (i read your description later)
    you could tell that it was folksy.

    made me think of florence and the machine or something good like that.

    The human experience can be a painful thing and in that respect this was really beautiful.
    | Posted on 2015-09-05 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200625

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Dream written by closetpoet
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    untitled written by Outlaw
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry