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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Good/Baddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyPeriodical
    ASL Info:    18/m/pr
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 288/229/264
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 551
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 469



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGood/Baddots
    -------------------------------------------


    what would you say to this man
    without probable cause
    in a concordant fashion about he who
    without piece of mind
    discusses the matters within
    without proper instruction on
    these properties and if their inches lie
    waiting at all where and what by?

    as far as i can see,
    wherever he may be,
    the poor man's oath to himself
    and all his opinions perish inevitably.




    Submitted on 2015-09-16 12:00:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I kind of like this a lot because at the end it's pretty resonant and leaves me feeling like if we were lightbulbs you'd be a hundred watts brighter than me. Bright lights are good.


    On the other hand i feel like the within without enjambment is unfortunate because it's awkward- for being over complicated.

    I sometimes feel like in your writing you unbind an inch thick rope in order to make sure the prisoner is five times more secure.

    There's no need to do that,
    I think,
    and imo it gives us no idea of your voice.


    I think i have written 4 times as many poems as i have up...
    there's nothing wrong with writing, but in this poem are you Albert Einstein, in that poem are you William Shakespeare. ...
    who, young sir
    are you?


    | Posted on 2015-09-20 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


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