Your ship has sailed by Forgiven

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Your ship has sailed dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Forgiven
ASL Info:	38/F/Florida
Elite Ratio:	3.82 - 335/330/93
Words:	179

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	391
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1153

Description:
Even when you block their numbers they find ways and as they say "curiosity killed the cat" and I couldn't help myself. But I realized to be over this I cant wonder his thoughts of me...his reality not mine..IM movin on! Bye Felisha!!!

Your ship has sailed dots

-------------------------------------------

I have found myself at the end of the rope,

and as extended as I choose to be.

I realize the chaos of you,

and I have receded from that disturbance.

I now navigate on,

and you are far to the absence

of everything that is me.

I have passed the threshold

as well as "deleted forever" the files marked from you.

No longer to read on in your forced upon emails

I looked

saw the title and choose...

NO!

By no means will I let your thoughts fill my head.

Not any longer to breathe in

the hate that is you.

Im far from this now.

Even though its on the horizon,

I can see it fading.

And I cant wait for the new sun.

--

Denise Werntz

Submitted on 2015-09-20 15:19:58 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Always a great way to release angst. In free verse is poignant and well done

YOur Friend
Ben
| Posted on 2015-09-25 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the conversational, aloof, nonchalant tone this piece takes. The word usage is direct, confident. The tone matches the metaphor and i also really liked that quality. Stick to it sista, no need to waste energy sailin around and around the same old current!
| Posted on 2015-09-22 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
  That's right, it might be on the horizon (and somewhat visible)...but it is fading. Time heals all wounds...

I like the "Bye Felisha" (or Felicia) reference in the description. Why didn't you weave that bit of urbanism into your piece? You're so important that I don't even remember (or care to remember) your name! Good stuff!

Things like what you presented here are remnants that need to be extracted and discarded, lest it could cause even more damage. Like venom from a snakebite...get it out!!!

As I always say, keep smiling Denise...

Kelly
| Posted on 2015-09-21 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]
  Really neat way to show a love given up on. I like the computer metaphors. "as well as "deleted forever" the files marked from you." Something almost surreal reality to those words. We in our life almost never get to completely delete something, not even our memory. But in a computer we get this chance. The ending is also very nice. How you see the events before fading into the distance and in the distance ahead of you is a new and hopefully brighter future.

| Posted on 2015-09-21 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

200680

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
Mystery Read written by kyserin
Deep written by Janesaddiction
Dream written by closetpoet
Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
no sky on the other side written by teika5
Live In Between written by teika5
Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
Compartments written by TheStillSilence
Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
// Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
A bit of Pain written by teika5
Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
Keep written by TheStillSilence
Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
Gaia written by endlessgame23
The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
Beauty Rest written by jackz
Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
(Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
Adoration written by TheStillSilence

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.