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    dots Submission Name: All Around the Universedots

    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 513
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 969


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    dotsAll Around the Universedots

    Love's been hard on us all
    showing us our flaws.
    Inertia of late night calls,
    moving love into view.
    Curling hearts into one.
    Meeting parents for dinner.
    Idle kisses good-night,
    dreaming of each others smell.
    Making the love scenes,
    knowing each other so well.
    Moving small lives in rooms
    down apartment halls.
    Echo of wedding bells,
    rings forever on ordain fingers.
    Our children blooming children.
    The Prophets know our lives.
    You watch the light fade
    from my full of life eyes.
    Your eyes a veil of tears.
    I whisper,
    “I Love You All Around the Universe.”
    Our movie fades to black.
    Credits roll,
    my name moves off the screen.
    I'll see our life in reverse.
    My mind pauses
    On the first time,
    “I Love You All Around the Universe,”
    was said.

    Submitted on 2015-09-20 23:56:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like the mention of smell, only someone who has been in that intimate moment with a lover where the other person is just committed to soul could pick that out. It gave such credibility to the rest of the piece. The mention of a long lived love set to an infinite scale of being, and it was real and validated by that one thing, that reality of truth, the smell, the way we come to love one another through all senses. Totally takes this from just being an obscure mention of love to a validated piece of good poetry. I very much enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2015-09-21 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

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