[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Don't Need Youdots

    Author: bluemayskye
    ASL Info:    31/F/Portland
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 78/89/24
    Words: 344
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 484
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1604


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDon't Need Youdots

                             Dont Need You 

    ( by Jessi Blue )

    I feel this immense suspense of an awful kind,
    while the thought of seeing you sends me out of my mind.

    I don't want to.
    I can't.
    It's got to get better sometime.

    You won't take me,
    Can't make me.
    I'll never give you the time.

    Again to batter me,
    Shatter me,
    Or tell me I do not matter
    You just can't or won't see
    The real me.
    While I reel from what I see...

    It's true that nothing ventured is nothing gained,
    But once the gain is all pain then the ventures' vain.

    No matter what you think
    I tried
    No matter if you care
    I cried
    What's saddest is the fact that I hurt so bad it feels like you died.

    I will succeed with this seed of fight in my mind
    You might've sought to conquer me but I will vanquish the kind
    Of thoughts that haunt me
    That taunt me with the way that you flaunted
    All your special connections
    with ones we both are of next kin.

    I'm going to turn the negative to goodness in my life.

    But not for you.
    Not to you.
    Not with you.
    Don't need you

    Submitted on 2015-09-24 11:38:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wonderful word play. A very meaningful poem with delightful wording. It almost danced on the page. The rhythm wad almost like a heart beat through the whole piece slowing toward the end to really pound the message home, that is over, now the cleaning up and moving on begins.
    | Posted on 2015-10-02 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      Its true that nothing ventures is nothing gained
    But once the pain is all gain the ventures vain

    That line made this piece what it is, not only is this brilliantly said, true, and just awesome the structure and use of alliteration is fantastic. I also thought the placement was perfect, the buildup and then the conclusion behind it. I honestly didn't think this would be much to begin with but the space format and straightforward language mixed with some really witty ways with words, this is great! Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2015-09-26 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Its true that nothing ventures is nothing gained
    | Posted on 2015-09-26 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    This written by Chelebel
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Giving written by jjd
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Linger written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]