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    dots Submission Name: Don't Need Youdots

    Author: bluemayskye
    ASL Info:    31/F/Portland
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 78/89/24
    Words: 344
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1099
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1604


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDon't Need Youdots

                             Dont Need You 

    ( by Jessi Blue )

    I feel this immense suspense of an awful kind,
    while the thought of seeing you sends me out of my mind.

    I don't want to.
    I can't.
    It's got to get better sometime.

    You won't take me,
    Can't make me.
    I'll never give you the time.

    Again to batter me,
    Shatter me,
    Or tell me I do not matter
    You just can't or won't see
    The real me.
    While I reel from what I see...

    It's true that nothing ventured is nothing gained,
    But once the gain is all pain then the ventures' vain.

    No matter what you think
    I tried
    No matter if you care
    I cried
    What's saddest is the fact that I hurt so bad it feels like you died.

    I will succeed with this seed of fight in my mind
    You might've sought to conquer me but I will vanquish the kind
    Of thoughts that haunt me
    That taunt me with the way that you flaunted
    All your special connections
    with ones we both are of next kin.

    I'm going to turn the negative to goodness in my life.

    But not for you.
    Not to you.
    Not with you.
    Don't need you

    Submitted on 2015-09-24 11:38:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wonderful word play. A very meaningful poem with delightful wording. It almost danced on the page. The rhythm wad almost like a heart beat through the whole piece slowing toward the end to really pound the message home, that is over, now the cleaning up and moving on begins.
    | Posted on 2015-10-02 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      Its true that nothing ventures is nothing gained
    But once the pain is all gain the ventures vain

    That line made this piece what it is, not only is this brilliantly said, true, and just awesome the structure and use of alliteration is fantastic. I also thought the placement was perfect, the buildup and then the conclusion behind it. I honestly didn't think this would be much to begin with but the space format and straightforward language mixed with some really witty ways with words, this is great! Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2015-09-26 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Its true that nothing ventures is nothing gained
    | Posted on 2015-09-26 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

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