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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: would-be'sdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 137/245/160
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1207
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 512



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswould-be'sdots
    -------------------------------------------


    how different you had looked from
    how you’d sounded –
    an outline against the dust
    and headlights on the dirt road --
    and if i were to close
    my eyes this very moment -- hear
    The universe pass by, settled in
    Post-soviet trains, disgruntled
    Guitars drift breaking rifts
    up to my window – how happier
    would I have been
    Wrapped around the jacaranda
    On a hill down in Zambia!









    Submitted on 2015-09-24 15:37:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I noticed this the other day. It gets a YES. from me.

    I like the attention to the sonics in it which build as tension and then relax. I like the big things, dust in the headlights mutating to the universe passing by and then the very clear [Focused] way you move from unique percetions/description to very pin-point place and time...

    the train (because of geography and personalization) becomes your train - and the alternative becomes your alternative.

    There's a grace about that,
    the if and
    what.

    Accomplished.
    | Posted on 2015-09-27 00:00:00 | by theludus | [ Reply to This ]


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