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would-be's


Author: expiring_touch
ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
Elite Ratio:    3.94 - 139 /256 /171
Words: 80
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1718
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 527



Description:




would-be's



how different you had looked from
how you’d sounded –
an outline against the dust
and headlights on the dirt road --
and if i were to close
my eyes this very moment -- hear
The universe pass by, settled in
Post-soviet trains, disgruntled
Guitars drift breaking rifts
up to my window – how happier
would I have been
Wrapped around the jacaranda
On a hill down in Zambia!









Submitted on 2015-09-24 15:37:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I noticed this the other day. It gets a YES. from me.

I like the attention to the sonics in it which build as tension and then relax. I like the big things, dust in the headlights mutating to the universe passing by and then the very clear [Focused] way you move from unique percetions/description to very pin-point place and time...

the train (because of geography and personalization) becomes your train - and the alternative becomes your alternative.

There's a grace about that,
the if and
what.

Accomplished.
| Posted on 2015-09-27 00:00:00 | by theludus | [ Reply to This ]


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